Storm (Large) and the Balls


Band:  Storm and the Balls
Venue:  The Red Devil Lounge / San Francisco CA

Thank you, Uncle Patty, for taking me to see Storm Large. I wondered if Dave Navarro, or any other Hollywood rockers, or Toby, would show up to support her. That would have been very cool.

Can I tell you—Storm Large is such a fucking lady! She’s something else. Her personality in real life is SO much more and so much hotter and groovier than what we saw on Rockstar Supernova. Did the producers tone her down for that show? They must have. Who woulda thunk this pretty blonde lady has a truck driver mouth! Not too many women can pull that off. Can you picture Dilana—with her wide blue eyes and bellowing voice—on stage belching into a mic and hissing up at people in the balcony? That’s enough to make me pee my pants and spill my beer. Now can you picture Storm acting out like that? I can totally see it. I SAW it. She DOES act like that, and she totally gets away with it.

Back to Storm’s gig. I remember at one point our shy little Storm was jumping around at the edge of the stage like some Egyptian-lover freak-a-zoid. And then I thought I heard her scream obscenities at this guy in a wheelchair and then harass this one queen for smoking his blunt like a girl holding a Virgina Slims. Or maybe her rant was actually just lyrics to one of her songs. Hmm, I’m not too sure. I was expecting at least one of those guys to get mad and maybe scream, “You’re such a jerk, Storm. I should sue your hot ass!” Everyone was all smiles. I noticed as the night went on, the filthier Storm got, she just kept getting sexier and sexier. Her pig-factor went through the roof. Storm is probably the only rocker with balls large enough to fuck with Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics. I’ll admit, I didn’t know any of her songs before last night’s show. And I still don’t know any of them now. But everyone around me sure did. I even saw Uncle Patty singing along with her eyes closed like Alanis did on Star Search. Uncle Patty NEVER does stuff like that. In public.

I know this isn’t much of a concert review. I have zero facts to write about. I didn’t count the number of Balls in her band.  I don’t know the names of any of her songs, so I can’t even put together a partial set list. But—this is what I know. Storm did perform two covers that I recognized immediately. She opened her show with a balls-out rendition of Annie Lennox’s Missionary Man. And towards the end of her set she let us have it with the new-and-improved rock anthem Sweet Horny Mutha-Fucka!

I’m glad I got to see Storm. I like how she rolls. She definitely has fun tearing things up, and she gives off great energy. More energy than our local Red Devil Lounge had room for. Dave didn’t make an appearance to back her on guitars, but rumor has it, a couple of guys showed up late with Kathy Griffin, but they hung out in the bathroom all night.

I found this clip on youtube, it’s dated Oct ‘05


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